Key points Yearning for unconditional love frequently masks a profound lack of self-love. A dogged belief in the power of unconditional love can blind you to red flags and the warning signs of an unhealthy relationship. The search for unconditional love frequently fuels destructive behavior. Friends and family warned you and coworkers and colleagues expressed […]
Why do some couples remain madly in love, while others see love fade fast from their relationship? If you think those couples are lucky, think again. Luck eventually runs out. Short-term love is easy; long-term love requires dedication and commitment. But the benefits are mind-blowing. For example, loving couples in long-term relationships experience major health […]
Everyone knows that divorce is hard, but how hard it is depends on how you go about it. There isn’t a single formula for getting divorced, and therefore you have some flexibility regarding how you go about it. However, the two main options, a mediated or litigated divorce, are drastically different. I sat down with […]
Do you long to be liked by others? Work hard on your friendships, try to be a good listener, try to be understanding and empathic — all in the hope that other people will like you more? Sadly, when all your energy goes toward pleasing others, you’re likely to get the opposite in return. How […]
Recently, I met up with one of my best pals. Like many old friends, we share a secret language, referring to events and situations with a single word or glance. A raised eyebrow, a sideways look, the phrase, “Tell me, are your bananas fresh?” and we erupt in fits of laughter as others look on […]
By Sean Grover, LCSW Last summer, I attended a concert by a famed singer-song writer. When he took command of the stage, you knew you were in the hands of an old pro; someone who had spent a lifetime in the spotlight. But as the concert unfolded, I started to feel distracted; his many bows […]
Why holidays are a financial bonanza for psychotherapists. If you adore your in-laws and delight in their company, consider yourself one of the lucky ones and read no further. But if the thought of spending time with your partner’s family has you activating your body armor and bracing for impact—then this article is for you. […]
The Secret World of Emotions & Attunement When your radio’s tuned properly to your favorite station, the broadcast comes in loud and clear. Without any static or overlap of frequencies, you relax and enjoy the music or the program. When your favorite love song is played on a well-tuned instrument, you’re delighted. You listen without […]
When someone asks you a favor, do you readily agree and later regret it? Perhaps you say yes when you really wanted to say no? Afterward, do you feel victimized, lament your decision, or bemoan your fate? If you answered yes to the questions above, congratulations—you’re a people pleaser. You go out of your way […]
Conflicts are a Natural Part of all Healthy Relationships When faced with conflicts in relationships, do you suffer from the Triple A’s: apologizing, agreeing, and accommodating? Under pressure, are you more likely to compromise or hide your true feelings behind a tense smile or nervous laugh? And afterward, are you still fretting over the situation? […]
