When someone asks you a favor, do you readily agree and later regret it? Perhaps you say yes when you really wanted to say no? Afterward, do you feel victimized, lament your decision, or bemoan your fate? If you answered yes to the questions above, congratulations—you’re a people pleaser. You go out of your way […]
Conflicts are a Natural Part of all Healthy Relationships When faced with conflicts in relationships, do you suffer from the Triple A’s: apologizing, agreeing, and accommodating? Under pressure, are you more likely to compromise or hide your true feelings behind a tense smile or nervous laugh? And afterward, are you still fretting over the situation? […]
What to be more decisive? Here’s how: While playing it safe may be comforting, standing in the shadows, waiting for someone else to decide, or remaining dependent on friends or loved ones to make decisions for you weakens your confidence and chips away at your self-esteem. Being totally at the mercy of others is a […]
Spending too much time alone? Here are a few things to consider. Sure, an intimate relationship will improve your life—but did you know that it may also extend it? In an article in the New York Times by Jane E. Brody, “Forging Social Connections for a Longer Life,” study after study found that people in […]
Therapy and the Secret Life of Therapists Every day in therapy offices, therapists are bombarded with feelings from their patients: love, hate, rage, yearning, despair. Session after session, people in therapy share their secrets, dreams, and fantasies; they confess disappointments, expose painful memories, unearth fears, ambitions, and passions; all while their therapist sits and listens. […]
Why lay on a couch in therapy? Isn’t talking face-to-face more natural? In the beginning, lying on the couch does feel odd; there’s nothing natural about it. Yet it serves a very important function: it gives you greater access to your internal life. For example, when you isolate certain senses, other senses become amplified. The […]
What is your depression trying to tell you? Depression. What an unwelcome guest! Whether it tumbles down on us out of the blue or is triggered by disappointment or loss, it’s surely a miserable experience. And the fact that it revisits us again and again only makes it worse. Where does it come from? Defining […]
Everyone Deserves Respect Dr. Wilcox, the head of psychiatry in a leading Manhattan mental health clinic, had a history of erupting in arrogant rages. Like all the interns, I learned to steer clear of him. When he appeared, we vaporized like ninjas into thin air. We escaped through emergency exits; hid in storage closets; or […]
