Why do some people thrive in the face of obstacles and setbacks, while others in more favorable circumstances lack the drive to persevere? What does it mean to be a self-awakening person? Buddhist scholar and peace activist Daisaku Ikeda suggests: “Fortune and misfortune are unfathomable. Even if we achieve a win, our joy will not […]
Have you ever heard someone yell, “I’m not angry?” If you have, then you’ve witnessed an unwanted feeling in action. Disowned feelings are those prickly emotions that you attempt to block out of awareness. You tell yourself you’re not feeling them and give them the cold shoulder. Unfortunately, ignoring unwanted feelings comes at a high […]
When you feel hopeless, you have trouble getting out of bed. You think to yourself, “Why should I?” There’s nothing to look forward to. Today will be the same as yesterday. Yesterday was the same as the day before, and the day before that, and the day before that, etc. “Is it possible to die […]
Depersonalization and dissociation block access to feelings. Think of the times that you felt flooded with feelings—intense emotions such as joy, sadness, love, or fear. Such feelings can be electrifying. As they flow through you, they pack a powerful punch. They can deepen your empathy, keep you emotionally attuned to yourself and others, and guide […]
Battling yourself is a natural process that leads to a stronger sense of identity. External obstacles are dramatic, the source of great theater. When you fight against something in your environment that’s causing you suffering, you have a clear target. You can see what’s standing in your way: financial hardship, a health challenge, a problematic relationship, […]
If you’ve ever had panic attacks, this experience may sound familiar: “It just happened again. I was having a good day. Work went well, I had lunch with an old friend, and my commute home was smooth. After dinner, I decided to take a hot shower and watch a movie. After all, it was Friday night. […]
Every morning I woke up with dread. No gratitude in sight. A feeling of heaviness that invaded my thoughts, weighed me down during the day and tortured me at night. I zombied my way through the world with little hope that life could change. I even questioned the value of living. My family was hit […]
Recently, I met up with my roommate from college. Like many old friends, we share a secret language, referring to events and situations with a single word or glance. A raised eyebrow, a sideways look, the phrase, “What size are your bananas?” and we erupt into fits of laughter while others look on perplexed. I […]
Do you long to be liked by others? Work hard on your friendships, try to be a good listener, try to be understanding and empathic — all in the hope that other people will like you more? Sadly, when all your energy goes toward pleasing others, you’re likely to get the opposite in return. How […]
Freud wrote “Analysis is, in essence, a cure through love.” What did he mean? You share your dreams, fantasies, and longings; unearth your ambitions and passions, and spill your deepest, darkest secrets, while your therapist listens intently, captivated, hanging on your every sigh. After such cozy and intimate attention, many people are left wondering: “Are […]
