Psychotherapists have long believed that a relationship that you choose reflects your feelings about yourself. For example, if you don’t value yourself, your friends won’t either. They won’t think twice about standing you up, phoning at the last minute to cancel plans, or forgetting to contact you altogether. They don’t consider your feelings or needs. […]
This anxiety-driven defense destroys relationships. Do you feel betrayed when others don’t do what you want? Do you wrestle with trusting people? Have a history of combative relationships? If you answered yes, it’s possible you have a controlling personality. That’s right, your controlling personality may be the cause of your biggest relationship headaches. But don’t […]
5 ways conflict strengthens intimacy. When faced with a conflict in an intimate relationship, do you suffer from the Triple A’s: apologizing, agreeing, and accommodating? Under pressure, are you more likely to compromise or hide your true feelings behind a tense smile or nervous laugh? Afterward, do you find yourself ruminating or losing sleep over […]
Doubt the value of your therapy? Maybe your therapist is the problem. You shopped around, dipped into your savings, and found a psychotherapist for yourself. But after a handful of sessions, you (and your bank account) aren’t feeling any better. Before you berate yourself, doubt the value of therapy or begrudge your karma, consider this: […]
It’s easier than you think. Whether it tumbles down on you on gloomy days or is triggered by a disappointment or loss, depression is an unwelcome guest in every home. But before we cure it, let’s consider where it may be coming from. Defining Depression Many folks confuse sadness with depression. Sadness is a natural […]
When the late-great Grandma Grover turned 85 years old, she received an upsetting notice in the mail; she was ordered to surrender her driver’s license. She was regretfully informed that, due to her age, she was no longer eligible to drive. Exasperated, she wrote a letter the motor vehicle department director. He flatly rejected her. […]
By Sean Grover, LCSW A Parable… Once upon a time, there was a lost man who carried around a basket of troubles and wandered the land calling out,“Who will help me with my basket of troubles?” Many pitied him, some laughed at him, but no one helped him. Then one day a king passing by […]
That tension you feel in your neck? It has more meaning that you think, It was a moment that changed my life. It was about twenty years ago, and I was a patient in a therapy group led by Dr. Louis Ormont, a pioneer of American group therapy. I was discussing the devastating death of […]
The Secret World of Emotions & Attunement When your radio’s tuned properly to your favorite station, the broadcast comes in loud and clear. Without any static or overlap of frequencies, you relax and enjoy the music or the program. When your favorite love song is played on a well-tuned instrument, you’re delighted. You listen without […]
When someone asks you a favor, do you readily agree and later regret it? Perhaps you say yes when you really wanted to say no? Afterward, do you feel victimized, lament your decision, or bemoan your fate? If you answered yes to the questions above, congratulations—you’re a people pleaser. You go out of your way […]
